Nights of Whiskey and Roses|
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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in
Mark Anthony's LiveJournal:
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|Friday, May 28th, 2010|
|Friday, May 7th, 2010|
|a bit of advice
A BIT OF ADVICE
if you happen to see
moving at top speed,
best to get out of their way…there is no bigger fool
than the fool who follows one.
never tie your anchor
to a sinking ship.
never look down on people
unless you are willing to help them up.
an old man once told me that
rainy days are best for sleeping
and making love…
any of the above pieces of information,
taken in part or in whole,
will help you see the world
in ways that will enlighten
you more than you know.
live it. because as a result of everything
you’ve done to this moment: THIS IS IT
make sure you are creating your future
with every breath you take...
|Tuesday, May 4th, 2010|
|just a thought
south haven; MI
JUST A THOUGHT
to take yourself out for a walk
now and then.
just walk as far out
and away from home...then sit.
watch what happens to you
the sun sets
on the horizon...
|Wednesday, April 28th, 2010|
evelyn at dempster beach; evanston, IL
*taken with LG camera phone*
for me to get the kite in to the sky...ha ha ~
|Monday, April 19th, 2010|
|got to get east of the sun
GOT TO GET EAST OF THE SUN
it never fails.
when i'm at the grocery store,
the person in front of me
always has some customer service issue
which requires a manager intervention
after long drawn out explanations
by the clerk as to why strawberries
are .10 more then they were 18 years ago.
a simple trip to ronald mcdonald's
or the burger king
always includes some lady counting
out $4.82 in pennies
only to find out she's 6 cents short.
when i ask for a burger,
the cashier always asks,
"do you want cheese on that?"
then. the burger arrives. no cheese,
but extra pickles. of course.
there are the bad drivers. the bad
cops (talking on their cell phones
as they run through red lights
and neighborhood stop signs),
and the bad
from half assed service clerks
trying to sell me wireless internet
over the phone.
life can be a real bitch
if you let it creep up on you
to be pissed about
when you look out the window
and think about it.
rising gas prices,
black on black crime. white collar
corruption. back street drug deals
and top 10 radio
that gets worse with each passing week.
every now and then
i find myself just east
of the sun though.
of the sky shine just right.
"have a nice day"
someone will say to me. and for once
i'll notice that it really is.
"same to you"
i might say,
"the very same to you..."
and i'll walk out on to the sidewalk
with my bag of goods...not even wondering
how long it's all going to last.
|Thursday, April 15th, 2010|
|more and more
south haven; michigan
MORE AND MORE
more and more
i get the feeling that when it's all over
things will be much the same as when we were here.
too much undiscovered beauty
and never enough appreciation for the things we'd found.
when it's all said and done
there will be much more to be said and done...ha ha.
my guess is that 85% of the earth's population
as if they finally realize
that THIS IS IT. a certain acceptance
that the only magic that ever existed
in the follies of youth.
less than 1% of the people you meet
their life...and more importantly
their surroundings. a slow,
easy savoring as it all unfolds. even
when it folds the wrong way.
that 1% fully realize
that the people
who seem to dislike them
are simply trying to change them. they
have an understanding of the places
they should not be. and this matters
because they shrug off
and people in ways that count.
the rest fall in to varying degrees
yet functional psychosis.
you are safest
when hanging with either
the 85% crowd
or the 1% crowd.
skip the rest.
because when it's all said
you will hopefully
have done more than most,
or accepted your limitations with grace.
all you can along the way. but don't
go looking for it.
let it flow in to you
as easy as a sunset,
or a soft rush of water
just drifting on by.
more and more
i get the feeling that when it's
all over, you and i will be standing there. grinning. and
staring at simple beauty
in ways we could have
patience. it's easing towards us
|Thursday, April 8th, 2010|
|no need to fake life so seriously
NO NEED TO FAKE LIFE SO SERIOUSLY
i don't have anything to prove.
if i did,
i did it a long time ago. and what i display
every day is a now scaled back,
slowed down version
of my former versions,
which were always recycled
and revised to meet ever changing pychological demands.
but just a little weaker
with each passing year.
it's OK by me though. i believe i have better
stamina now. expending less energy,
preserving the bursts for the
moments that count - ha ha...
when i meet a group of new people,
i believe something is subtracted from my overall being. so i tend
to stick to the crowds i know, the places
and the faces i am all too familiar with.
the most beautiful women
have often been the most insecure.
the most handsome of men
have often been the most evil...or so dumb
that their effects delivered
evil, disgusting results.
i like simple people. beautiful
on the inside first.
the other kinds can continue
their lives of
fanciful despair. corroding
as they boast of their pomp
i say there's no need to
fake life so seriously. no need
to mask shortcomings
with big words
and disguised failures.
grow what's inside. or the things
you already know.
the rest will take care of itself. and when it doesn't,
the reality will be that there is
more to learn. less to fake.
and a hell of a lot more fun
to be had
when you have an idea
where you are going
and know just where
|Wednesday, March 31st, 2010|
miserable winter. may you never return
to chicago again!
|Monday, March 29th, 2010|
keep looking up.
things are bound to make sense
|Friday, March 19th, 2010|
|from russia, with love (rainy changes)
FROM RUSSIA, WITH LOVE (RAINY CHANGES)
she's an older woman
from russia...telling me bits of her story.
"i come to chicago
in 1997. i leave my husband. i leave my family. i think
to start again in america."
but another marriage soon after her arrival
left her exactly where she was running from.
no husband. little money. and fewer options.
"my american husband
was a bum! he drink. he mean to me. he tell me 'you work'. i tell him
'WHAT I CAN DO? I AM NOT AMERICAN!'"
she tells me she quickly left him. married for less
than a year before she ventured out on her own again.
now she's too old to start over
and too young to retire.
"12 more years i retire. and i want it to hurry. but that is wrong. no one
should want hurry get old."
i sip my coffee and look out the window. i understand her somehow.
i have a few years left in my own window. if i am to start over
it has to be now. i'd hate to reach an age where i just wish to hurry
and get old. i want life to last. to stretch it out
as long as possible.
there is hope in change. and there is defeat in stagnation.
being smart is the tricky part. knowing
when to hold
when to fold
and when to run
comes not only with an open mind
but with enough cash to pull you through.
i look out the window once more. it's getting dark. rainy too...
i sure as hell don't plan on running to russia...ha ha. but
i do plan to start again.
and exciting in the thoughts of it all.
in life we can do the right thing
or we can do nothing.
but eventually we must all do what is required
or we'll wither in the wind.
the rain is getting stronger now. but somehow,
so is my resolve.
there is always more to the story.
|Saturday, February 20th, 2010|
lincoln park zoo; chicago
to take it easy.
to kick back,
take a nap,
wake up whenever
and go no place
that requires me to be in any sort of a hurry.
|Saturday, February 6th, 2010|
|on third thought
ON THIRD THOUGHT
what's been whispered or screamed,
we have everything. including time.
and talk to your lover. gently
and realize that there is truly
that cannot be overcome. forgive
even if you cannot forget.
walk away when it's the best choice
for the universe
as a whole.
but hold on
when everyone can agree
that nothing else
will ever take its place.
close your eyes
and you'll know what i mean...
|Friday, February 5th, 2010|
|and if we must
the round room, sound bar; chicago
AND IF WE MUST
not every night does it for me. but i always seem
to find myself deep in to it. sipping a drink
or catching a taxi cab a couple of miles up the road.
to downtown. downtown
to river north. river north
over to the gold coast (all the while
trying desperately to steer clear of lincoln park).
but like i said,
not every night does it for me.
the frosted flakes have not gone down well. the drinks
are weak. and the people seem less clever
on nights like this
you can fuck with anything you like. just don't fuck
with my thoughts. let me stand quietly
and sip my jacks
these days i have a lovely wife to manage,
a small child to raise,
and my own portion of the earth's money to utilize wisely.
if you happen to start a conversation with me
i may not answer. it's not that i don't somehow like you. it's not
that i feel we'll never become famously friendly.
it's just that i have a lot on my mind
and never enough time to think things through.
i'm not always ready
to make nice. make small talk. or make believe.
when you see me in this state of being
and move along. if i happen to notice,
i'll remember you the next time
a happy moment finds us leaning in to the same bar.
because trust me. as much as i despise people,
i love them just the same. none of us could possibly exist
without each other,
good or bad.
the rich need the poor. the poor need the beautiful. and the beautiful
need it all.
but not every night
does it for all of us.
we cannot do anything for each other until
we have drank,
or loved in some way that we never could before.
|Thursday, February 4th, 2010|
|believe it or not
BELIEVE IT...OR NOT
i am the smartest person
i've ever met.
i cannot solve complex math problems
create masterful spreadsheets of data
with charts and graphs and creative headers.
but i sure as hell know
and how the how
gets to be
or not be
when the going gets going.
you can't get rock hard abs in just 3 minutes a day. you
can't beat the IRS by calling an 800 number over lunch. and a vermont
teddy bear for valentine's day is likely to get you dumped
with tomorrow's trash.
i know that on our worst day,
we can learn more from a 3 minute song on the radio
than in 25 years of higher learning.
becomes an excercise in imagining nothing terrible
or strangely offensive has happened.
we can go from mad-passionate-love,
to desperate...fucking some stranger for comfort
in just one week's time. life really moves
despite what the tree-huggers say,
the earth has been here long
before us...and will linger long
after we've faded away. the meek will not inherit
and maybe better whiskey.
eventually nothing really works.
but the good thing
is that there is always something new to try. some new
way of doing it. some new way of fucking, fucking up,
or somehow succeeding just before you fail again.
all of this is so easy
and gentle to realize. like a slow rising
of cigarette smoke over coffee.
i am the smartest person i've ever met. maybe the smartest person
damn...ha ha. feels good.
and i'll bet
if you're reading this to the end,
you're probably pretty damn smart too. maybe the smartest
person you've ever met. maybe even the 2nd smartest person
on the face of this lovely,
|Friday, November 27th, 2009|
release that which
for far too long.
on this night
in this time
at this moment.
you must realize that
we weave through life
and as strangely
as rain drops over a field of green.
and flooding over with emotion
so subtle. so swift.
i was unknown,
but in this moment
i am exactly
where i was always meant to be.
tonight...please make this kiss
so gentle...so sweet,
i'll die of it.
we'll love each other until
there is nothing left for the rest.
|Sunday, November 22nd, 2009|
pixies; aragon ballroom, chicago
pixies; aragon ballroom, chicago
still recovering...ha ha ~
|Friday, November 20th, 2009|
still feeling the love. still feeling the luck.
it's different. sure.
when i was younger there was this tune called
"space age love song". i hardly remember the melody,
but some reason
when i look at her,
it somehow comes to mind.
right before i snapped this shot
"you should never have your picture taken with alcohol
in your hand!"
she quickly tucked the glass of wine behind herself
as we just simply started to laugh.
we sat down,
enjoyed the view...and didn't say much for the next
15 minutes or so.
we didn't have to.
the quiet comfort after the laughter
said it all.
|Sunday, November 15th, 2009|
milwaukee art museum; WI
i mostly wander around. always have.
it's amazing i've made it this far.
when i was a kid
i'd get sent out to the yard to pull weeds
and end up looking for four leaf clovers. my mind is more apt
to focus in on the moment
than to think about the future
or the past.
i might know for sure if this is working for me,
but i can't remember what's happened
and i cannot see what will be.
fucking has always been the most perfect
waste of time for me. and sleeping is a close 2nd.
everything else is just a path to getting back to bed. with
or without my lover.
i stand up. cross the room. reach in to the fridge for a glass of milk.
i wonder what happened to lara botinelli. and i KNOW what happened
to elise geiger. amy tuesday too. none of them are here now,
and it's all for the better.
i sip my milk. it is quiet. only the sound of the refrigerator humming.
every day people die for nothing. the same ways they have lived.
and the ugly continue to need each other
in order to feed their hate.
and although santa clause doesn't exist
i certainly wish he did. he represents all that ever made sense to me,
minus the jolly red suit,
i wander back to bed
and dream of four leaf clovers
as the rest of the world
makes their way to work.
it's a wonder any of us make it anywhere...the view goes on and on.
|Monday, October 19th, 2009|
|thoughts at 1248am
south haven, MI
THOUGHTS AT 1248AM
the next time you think of me
consider that i am just a man
like any other man. the way one man
well guided intentions
and misguided results.
sometimes i drink too much
and sometimes i drink entirely too little. i've been to bed with hundreds
most of whom remained good friends for many,
i have a hard time sleeping in february, i never liked
and i love being lost in new cities...
i may have pounded the daylights out of r. giles
in the 7th grade,
but i cried like a baby
when my oldest cat finally died.
i despise traffic even more than the humans trapped there.
are eventually found out. and isn't it dreadful
when they finally are.
the next ten people you pass on the street
will have more secrets than you. or perhaps a few less...
and the next time i think of you
i'll consider that you've got perhaps more desire
than love. but more love
and somewhere in there
we're bound to find something
that can linger
when everything we struggle against
slips mysteriously away.
|Sunday, September 20th, 2009|
|did somebody say "fuck it"?
DID SOMEBODY SAY "FUCK IT"?
...and the sleeping people
are asleep once more
as you trickle out in to the night. curious,
but not hungry. enlightened
but not bored. ready,
yet still not quite sure.
in a moment,
you may wonder if there is anyone out there who thinks
you. but then you figure
there must be many...and the ones who don't
can't be bothered over anyhow.
you laugh about absurdity
and catch up with your friends
as the city burns.
burns with curiosity. burns with hunger. buzzes
and as you lift the glass
you are damn well sure that no one does it
quite like you. and even if they did,
somehow it wouldn't be the same.
you finally think to yourself,
"i'm just a little nuts - but hey,
and before you know it the night is in full swing. you're glad to be out there
and you're glad when that bartender floats you another drink.
you're glad to not be mel gibson. glad to not be your neighbor. glad
to not be anyone but you,
and damn glad that life can be lived while you are living
instead of dying.
"traffic jams are for suckers"
i've often thought.
and every once in a while
to slap yourself in the head and yell "oh fuck,
because you know that even if you're not quite ready,
you're still pretty damn sure.
and THAT plus a couple of bucks
is still more than enough
to get you on the bus...