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Nights of Whiskey and Roses
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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Mark Anthony's LiveJournal:

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    Friday, May 28th, 2010
    9:27 pm
    south haven; MI

    it had to happen some time...setting myself
    to friends only from here forward.

    so let's keep on
    keeping on ~ EVERYONE - please stick around
    for the ongoing ride...(i'm not dropping anyone by any means) ~

    *any new comers who stumble across/find me,
    please comment to be added ~


    MARK !
    Friday, May 7th, 2010
    6:35 pm
    a bit of advice


    if you happen to see
    an idiot
    moving at top speed,
    best to get out of their way…there is no bigger fool
    than the fool who follows one.

    never tie your anchor
    to a sinking ship.

    never look down on people
    unless you are willing to help them up.

    age gracefully,

    but also

    an old man once told me that
    rainy days are best for sleeping
    and making love…

    any of the above pieces of information,
    taken in part or in whole,
    will help you see the world
    in ways that will enlighten
    you more than you know.

    live it. because as a result of everything
    you’ve done to this moment: THIS IS IT

    make sure you are creating your future
    with every breath you take...
    Tuesday, May 4th, 2010
    9:02 pm
    just a thought
    south haven; MI


    it's important
    to take yourself out for a walk
    now and then.

    just walk as far out
    and away from home...then sit.

    watch what happens to you
    the sun sets
    on the horizon...
    Wednesday, April 28th, 2010
    9:42 pm
    evelyn at dempster beach; evanston, IL
    *taken with LG camera phone*

    waiting patiently
    for me to get the kite in to the sky...ha ha ~
    Monday, April 19th, 2010
    9:21 pm
    got to get east of the sun
    saugatuck; MI


    it never fails.

    when i'm at the grocery store,
    the person in front of me
    always has some customer service issue
    which requires a manager intervention
    after long drawn out explanations
    by the clerk as to why strawberries
    are .10 more then they were 18 years ago.

    a simple trip to ronald mcdonald's
    or the burger king
    always includes some lady counting
    out $4.82 in pennies
    and nickels
    only to find out she's 6 cents short.

    when i ask for a burger,
    no pickles,
    no cheese,
    the cashier always asks,
    "do you want cheese on that?"

    "no pickles,
    no cheese"
    i'll say.

    then. the burger arrives. no cheese,
    but extra pickles. of course.

    there are the bad drivers. the bad
    cops (talking on their cell phones
    as they run through red lights
    and neighborhood stop signs),
    and the bad
    from half assed service clerks
    trying to sell me wireless internet
    over the phone.

    life can be a real bitch
    if you let it creep up on you
    that way.

    there's plenty
    to be pissed about
    when you look out the window
    and think about it.

    rising gas prices,
    lower satisfactions...

    black on black crime. white collar
    corruption. back street drug deals
    and top 10 radio
    that gets worse with each passing week.

    every now and then
    i find myself just east
    of the sun though.

    the colors
    of the sky shine just right.

    "have a nice day"
    someone will say to me. and for once
    i'll notice that it really is.

    "same to you"
    i might say,
    "the very same to you..."

    and i'll walk out on to the sidewalk
    with my bag of goods...not even wondering
    how long it's all going to last.
    Thursday, April 15th, 2010
    9:49 pm
    more and more
    south haven; michigan


    more and more
    i get the feeling that when it's all over
    things will be much the same as when we were here.

    too much undiscovered beauty
    and never enough appreciation for the things we'd found.

    when it's all said and done
    there will be much more to be said and done...ha ha.

    even now
    my guess is that 85% of the earth's population
    as if they finally realize
    that THIS IS IT. a certain acceptance
    that the only magic that ever existed
    was imagined
    in the follies of youth.

    less than 1% of the people you meet
    truly savor
    their life...and more importantly
    their surroundings. a slow,
    easy savoring as it all unfolds. even
    when it folds the wrong way.

    that 1% fully realize
    that the people
    who seem to dislike them
    are simply trying to change them. they
    have an understanding of the places
    they should not be. and this matters
    because they shrug off
    disasterous situations
    and people in ways that count.

    the rest fall in to varying degrees
    of denial
    and mild,
    yet functional psychosis.

    you are safest
    when hanging with either
    the 85% crowd
    or the 1% crowd.

    skip the rest.

    because when it's all said
    and done
    you will hopefully
    have done more than most,

    or accepted your limitations with grace.

    all you can along the way. but don't
    go looking for it.

    let it flow in to you
    as easy as a sunset,
    or a soft rush of water
    just drifting on by.

    more and more
    i get the feeling that when it's
    all over, you and i will be standing there. grinning. and
    staring at simple beauty
    in ways we could have



    patience. it's easing towards us
    even now...
    Thursday, April 8th, 2010
    11:55 pm
    no need to fake life so seriously


    i don't have anything to prove.

    in fact,
    if i did,
    i did it a long time ago. and what i display
    every day is a now scaled back,
    slowed down version
    of my former versions,

    which were always recycled
    and revised to meet ever changing pychological demands.


    but just a little weaker
    with each passing year.

    it's OK by me though. i believe i have better
    stamina now. expending less energy,

    preserving the bursts for the
    moments that count - ha ha...

    when i meet a group of new people,
    i believe something is subtracted from my overall being. so i tend
    to stick to the crowds i know, the places
    i frequent,
    and the faces i am all too familiar with.

    the most beautiful women
    i've met
    have often been the most insecure.

    the most handsome of men
    have often been the most evil...or so dumb
    that their effects delivered
    evil, disgusting results.

    i like simple people. beautiful
    on the inside first.

    the other kinds can continue
    their lives of
    fanciful despair. corroding
    their surroundings
    as they boast of their pomp
    and circumstance.

    i say there's no need to
    fake life so seriously. no need
    to mask shortcomings
    with big words
    and disguised failures.

    grow what's inside. or the things
    you already know.

    the rest will take care of itself. and when it doesn't,
    the reality will be that there is
    more to learn. less to fake.

    and a hell of a lot more fun
    to be had
    when you have an idea
    where you are going
    and know just where
    you've been.
    Wednesday, March 31st, 2010
    9:09 pm

    goodbye cruel,
    miserable winter. may you never return
    to chicago again!
    Monday, March 29th, 2010
    10:57 pm


    keep looking up.

    things are bound to make sense
    soon enough...
    Friday, March 19th, 2010
    4:27 pm
    from russia, with love (rainy changes)
    over chicago


    she's an older woman
    from russia...telling me bits of her story.

    "i come to chicago
    in 1997. i leave my husband. i leave my family. i think
    to start again in america."

    but another marriage soon after her arrival
    left her exactly where she was running from.

    no husband. little money. and fewer options.

    "my american husband
    was a bum! he drink. he mean to me. he tell me 'you work'. i tell him

    she tells me she quickly left him. married for less
    than a year before she ventured out on her own again.

    now she's too old to start over
    and too young to retire.

    "12 more years i retire. and i want it to hurry. but that is wrong. no one
    should want hurry get old."

    i sip my coffee and look out the window. i understand her somehow.

    i have a few years left in my own window. if i am to start over
    it has to be now. i'd hate to reach an age where i just wish to hurry
    and get old. i want life to last. to stretch it out
    as long as possible.

    there is hope in change. and there is defeat in stagnation.

    being smart is the tricky part. knowing
    when to hold

    when to fold

    and when to run
    comes not only with an open mind
    but with enough cash to pull you through.

    i look out the window once more. it's getting dark. rainy too...

    i sure as hell don't plan on running to russia...ha ha. but
    i do plan to start again.

    something terrifying
    and exciting in the thoughts of it all.

    in life we can do the right thing
    or we can do nothing.

    but eventually we must all do what is required
    or we'll wither in the wind.

    the rain is getting stronger now. but somehow,
    so is my resolve.

    there is always more to the story.
    Saturday, February 20th, 2010
    7:21 pm
    lincoln park zoo; chicago


    it's time
    to take it easy.

    it's time
    to kick back,
    take a nap,

    wake up whenever

    and go no place
    that requires me to be in any sort of a hurry.
    Saturday, February 6th, 2010
    1:59 pm
    on third thought


    ...and despite
    what's been whispered or screamed,
    we have everything. including time.

    and talk to your lover. gently
    and real.

    look upwards
    and realize that there is truly
    that cannot be overcome. forgive

    even if you cannot forget.

    walk away when it's the best choice
    for the universe
    as a whole.

    but hold on
    when everyone can agree
    that nothing else
    will ever take its place.

    close your eyes
    and you'll know what i mean...
    Friday, February 5th, 2010
    1:37 am
    and if we must
    the round room, sound bar; chicago


    not every night does it for me. but i always seem
    to find myself deep in to it. sipping a drink
    or catching a taxi cab a couple of miles up the road.

    to downtown. downtown
    to river north. river north
    over to the gold coast (all the while
    trying desperately to steer clear of lincoln park).

    but like i said,
    not every night does it for me.

    some nights
    the frosted flakes have not gone down well. the drinks
    are weak. and the people seem less clever
    than ever.

    on nights like this
    you can fuck with anything you like. just don't fuck
    with my thoughts. let me stand quietly
    and sip my jacks
    over coke.

    these days i have a lovely wife to manage,
    a small child to raise,
    and my own portion of the earth's money to utilize wisely.

    if you happen to start a conversation with me
    i may not answer. it's not that i don't somehow like you. it's not
    that i feel we'll never become famously friendly.

    it's just that i have a lot on my mind

    and never enough time to think things through.

    i'm not always ready
    to make nice. make small talk. or make believe.

    when you see me in this state of being
    just smile
    and move along. if i happen to notice,
    i'll remember you the next time
    a happy moment finds us leaning in to the same bar.

    because trust me. as much as i despise people,
    i love them just the same. none of us could possibly exist
    without each other,
    good or bad.

    the rich need the poor. the poor need the beautiful. and the beautiful
    need it all.

    but not every night
    does it for all of us.

    some nights
    we cannot do anything for each other until
    we have drank,
    or loved in some way that we never could before.
    Thursday, February 4th, 2010
    2:22 am
    believe it or not
    WTF; chicago


    i am the smartest person
    i've ever met.


    i mean,
    i cannot solve complex math problems
    create masterful spreadsheets of data
    with charts and graphs and creative headers.

    but i sure as hell know
    what's what
    and how the how
    gets to be
    or not be
    when the going gets going.

    you can't get rock hard abs in just 3 minutes a day. you
    can't beat the IRS by calling an 800 number over lunch. and a vermont
    teddy bear for valentine's day is likely to get you dumped
    with tomorrow's trash.

    i know that on our worst day,
    we can learn more from a 3 minute song on the radio
    than in 25 years of higher learning.

    becomes an excercise in imagining nothing terrible
    or strangely offensive has happened.

    as humans
    we can go from mad-passionate-love,
    to desperate...fucking some stranger for comfort
    in just one week's time. life really moves
    that fast.

    despite what the tree-huggers say,
    the earth has been here long
    before us...and will linger long
    after we've faded away. the meek will not inherit
    anything except
    higher taxes
    and maybe better whiskey.

    eventually nothing really works.

    but the good thing
    is that there is always something new to try. some new
    way of doing it. some new way of fucking, fucking up,
    or somehow succeeding just before you fail again.

    all of this is so easy
    and gentle to realize. like a slow rising
    of cigarette smoke over coffee.

    i am the smartest person i've ever met. maybe the smartest person
    on earth.

    damn...ha ha. feels good.

    and i'll bet
    if you're reading this to the end,
    you're probably pretty damn smart too. maybe the smartest
    person you've ever met. maybe even the 2nd smartest person
    on the face of this lovely,
    never-ending earth...

    to the
    Friday, November 27th, 2009
    12:15 am



    release that which
    has waited
    for far too long.

    on this night
    in this time

    at this moment.

    you must realize that
    we weave through life
    as simply
    and as strangely
    as rain drops over a field of green.

    and flooding over with emotion
    or hope.




    this touch,
    so subtle. so swift.

    before this
    i was unknown,
    and unnoticed.

    but in this moment
    i am exactly
    where i was always meant to be.



    settle in.

    tonight...please make this kiss
    so brilliant,
    so sweet,

    i'll die of it.

    we'll love each other until
    there is nothing left for the rest.
    Sunday, November 22nd, 2009
    6:01 pm
    pixies; aragon ballroom, chicago

    pixies; aragon ballroom, chicago

    else to


    still recovering...ha ha ~
    Friday, November 20th, 2009
    2:42 am
    4 years
    marta; chicago

    4 YEARS

    4 years...strange.

    still feeling the love. still feeling the luck.

    i mean,
    it's different. sure.

    when i was younger there was this tune called
    "space age love song". i hardly remember the melody,
    but some reason
    when i look at her,
    it somehow comes to mind.


    right before i snapped this shot
    i said,
    "you should never have your picture taken with alcohol
    in your hand!"

    she quickly tucked the glass of wine behind herself
    as we just simply started to laugh.

    we sat down,
    enjoyed the view...and didn't say much for the next
    15 minutes or so.

    we didn't have to.

    the quiet comfort after the laughter
    said it all.
    Sunday, November 15th, 2009
    12:05 pm
    land escape
    milwaukee art museum; WI


    i mostly wander around. always have.

    it's amazing i've made it this far.

    when i was a kid
    i'd get sent out to the yard to pull weeds
    and end up looking for four leaf clovers. my mind is more apt
    to focus in on the moment
    than to think about the future
    or the past.

    i might know for sure if this is working for me,

    but i can't remember what's happened
    and i cannot see what will be.

    fucking has always been the most perfect
    waste of time for me. and sleeping is a close 2nd.

    everything else is just a path to getting back to bed. with
    or without my lover.

    i stand up. cross the room. reach in to the fridge for a glass of milk.

    i wonder what happened to lara botinelli. and i KNOW what happened
    to elise geiger. amy tuesday too. none of them are here now,
    and it's all for the better.

    i sip my milk. it is quiet. only the sound of the refrigerator humming.

    every day people die for nothing. the same ways they have lived.

    the rich,
    the poor,
    the beautiful,
    and the ugly continue to need each other
    in order to feed their hate.

    and although santa clause doesn't exist
    i certainly wish he did. he represents all that ever made sense to me,

    minus the jolly red suit,
    of course.

    i wander back to bed
    and dream of four leaf clovers
    as the rest of the world
    makes their way to work.

    it's a wonder any of us make it anywhere...the view goes on and on.
    Monday, October 19th, 2009
    12:00 am
    thoughts at 1248am
    south haven, MI


    the next time you think of me
    consider that i am just a man
    like any other man. the way one man
    on survival
    through desire,
    well guided intentions
    and misguided results.

    sometimes i drink too much
    and sometimes i drink entirely too little. i've been to bed with hundreds
    of women,
    most of whom remained good friends for many,
    many years.

    i have a hard time sleeping in february, i never liked
    hollywood movies,

    and i love being lost in new cities...

    i may have pounded the daylights out of r. giles
    in the 7th grade,
    but i cried like a baby
    when my oldest cat finally died.

    i despise traffic even more than the humans trapped there.

    are eventually found out. and isn't it dreadful
    when they finally are.

    the next ten people you pass on the street
    will have more secrets than you. or perhaps a few less...

    and the next time i think of you
    i'll consider that you've got perhaps more desire
    than love. but more love
    than hope.

    and somewhere in there
    we're bound to find something
    that can linger
    when everything we struggle against
    slips mysteriously away.
    Sunday, September 20th, 2009
    11:18 pm
    did somebody say "fuck it"?


    ...and the sleeping people
    are asleep once more
    as you trickle out in to the night. curious,
    but not hungry. enlightened
    but not bored. ready,
    yet still not quite sure.

    in a moment,
    you may wonder if there is anyone out there who thinks
    you. but then you figure
    there must be many...and the ones who don't
    can't be bothered over anyhow.

    you laugh about absurdity

    and catch up with your friends
    as the city burns.

    burns with curiosity. burns with hunger. buzzes
    with boredom.

    and as you lift the glass
    you are damn well sure that no one does it
    quite like you. and even if they did,
    somehow it wouldn't be the same.

    "fuck it"
    you finally think to yourself,
    "i'm just a little nuts - but hey,
    that's A-OK"

    and before you know it the night is in full swing. you're glad to be out there
    and you're glad when that bartender floats you another drink.

    you're glad to not be mel gibson. glad to not be your neighbor. glad
    to not be anyone but you,

    and damn glad that life can be lived while you are living
    instead of dying.

    "traffic jams are for suckers"
    i've often thought.

    and every once in a while
    it's ok
    to slap yourself in the head and yell "oh fuck,
    not again!"

    because you know that even if you're not quite ready,
    you're still pretty damn sure.

    and THAT plus a couple of bucks
    is still more than enough
    to get you on the bus...
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